Why is it so difficult ...

I often wonder as to how people who say they don't care say it. Do they actually mean it? I was always fascinated by such people cuz they never seem to get affected by anything people say or do which is just the opposite of what I am.

So I decided to 'be' them.

Apparently it was all going good. But it never really worked out for me. I tried extremely hard to not think about what people say about me. But in some corner of my mind in sleepless nights the thought inadvertently cropped up. 

After almost one month of being them, I decided its not possible for me to be them. 

But now the adamant person in keeps bugging me - Why can't I be like them. Why can't I also just block out things? Why can't I stop bothering about peoples remarks.

So finally I worked out on  a compromise. I will listen to what all you people out there say. But I will NOT let myself be affected by it. Your words are NOT going to impact my actions.

There are just 4 people who are an exception to this

Mom.

Dad.

And two other really close friends.

cheers,

iNDu<3

P.S.

This post really makes me look like a retard suffering from split personality.